"You're stressed because you care."

There are some phrases in life people tell you that stick with you. This is one of them for me.

“You’re stressed because you care.” - My Algebra II Teacher

I was a sophomore in high school when my Algebra II teacher said to me, “You’re stressed because you care.”

Looking back on it, it seems silly to care so much about an assignment or not understanding something, but he was right, I cared.

I cared about my grades, I cared about getting into college and getting a scholarship. I cared about “getting it.”

Today, with everything going on in the world in 2020, I want to remind those who care, that it doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong.

To have empathy for others, for the world and what is going on. For your heart to be broken at the loss of 200,000+ American lives to a virus. For women who are scared of losing their rights. For our Black brothers and sisters who are tired of feeling like they have to remind us their lives matter because our society doesn’t treat them as so. For our planet as wildfires and hurricanes damage and destroy. And much more.

If your heart is breaking, you’re not alone. Please know this.

If you’re stressed, it’s understandable.

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it’s not.” - The Lorax

When I think on, “You’re stressed because you care,” it steps up to the negative feedback loop in my brain that tells me I can’t change anything and shouldn’t care and says, this is what makes you special.

Because as The Lorax said, “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it’s not.”

It’s hard for me to comprehend how people can simply not care.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t have hope for better days and stay positive, but there’s a difference in positivity and toxic positivity. There’s a difference in turning a blind eye to everything that’s happening and saying, “Despite this I will find joy or make change.”

“Toxic positivity is the assumption, either by one’s self or others, that despite a person’s emotional pain or difficult situation, they should only have a positive mindset or — my pet peeve term — ‘positive vibes,’” explains Dr. Jaime Zuckerman, a clinical psychologist in Pennsylvania who specializes in, among other things, anxiety disorders and self-esteem.

Your feelings are valid. It’s okay to sit in all the uncertainty and not be 100% okay. It’s okay to feel sad, unmotivated, angry, stressed—WHATEVER.

We have NEVER had a year like this before. Be kind to yourself!

But what I would tell you today is that if you’re stressed—give yourself the time and self care you need—and remember it’s people like you who will change the world.

Let’s shift our thinking from I shouldn’t stress about everything to, “I’m stressed because I care,” and remember that caring, having a heart and showing empathy are superpowers not intended to destroy.

This Letter Contains Love,

LR